Anonymous asked: Are you circumcised?

No, I am not.

sexuallyconfusedchairs asked: Uh. This is kinda stupid to ask but, wanna be my friend or something?

I’ll be anyone’s friend whenever they need me.

Anonymous asked: Do you think your myriad of sexual fetishes are due to an over excited sexual appetite, i.e. jacking off too much? Would you even go so far as to say that if you hadn't exhausted 'normal' pornography you may not have turned out to be a bisexual furry loving faggot?

I attribute my weird kinks and odd taste to having too much time, and cum, on my hands. Maybe not jacking off too much, cause it’s a modest once a day at this point, but too long. I have talked about this before with someone, don’t remember who at the moment, but it really does take me a minimum of 50 minutes to finish. On average it’s like an hour and 20 minutes. I don’t remember the last time I just felt the urge, whipped it out came my semen. It’s been a long time. But the oddities come from just clicking stuff while jacking off my penis. I hope I explained that as grossly as I could.

Anonymous asked: Just reminding you of your pokemon LP. (try not to fuck the recording this time, slappa)

I’ve had a part recorded for a couple weeks and never uploaded it. It takes like three hours and never remember that account’s password…

Anonymous asked: What do you have against big, beautiful, fat women, slappa?

I dunno. It’s one thing I’ve never really liked. I’m a big fat fuck who hates other big fat fucks. I think it’s cause I find myself disgusting, I have nothing against them personally.

Anonymous asked: Have you ever used a dating site? Would you?

I think dating websites are amazing for girls, or guys who are chubbychasers. I am neither of those things.

Anonymous asked: Does that mean we might get some skyrim or have I misinterpreted?

You might, yes! That would be cool, wouldn’t it?

Since I’m open and bored and enjoy talking about gross things, I’m going through a list of extreme fetishes and seeing if they appeal to me. Bolding the ones I have.

A

Ablutophilia - Baths or showers
Acomoclitic - Hairless genitals (see gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, pubephilia, trichophilia) 
Acrophilia - High places
Acrotomophilia - Amputee partner
Acousticophilia - Aroused by sounds 
Actirasty - Exposure to the sun’s rays
Agalmatophilia/Pygmalionism - Statues/manikins or immobility 
Agonophilia - Pseudo-rape, pretend struggle or wrestling play as a form of foreplay
Agoraphilia - Sex in public places 
Agrexophilia - Excitement from knowing that others are aware of a persons sexual activities 
Algolagnia/Algalagnia - Love of pain
Allorgasmia - Fantasizing about someone other than one’s partner 
Allotriorasty - Partners of other nations or races 
Alphmegamia - Older men
Altocalciphilia - High heels (see retifism)
Alvinolagnia - Stomachs (see partialism)
Amaurophilia - Partner who is unable to see them during sex, blind/blindfolded sex partner 
Anaclitism - Activities or items one was exposed to as an infant 
Anasteemaphilia - Taller or shorter partners 
Androidism - Robots with human features 
Anophelorastia - Defiling or ravaging a partner 
Antholagnia - Floral scent
Aphephilia - Being touched
Apotemnophilia - self-amputee
Arachnephilia - Spiders 
Asphyxiophilia - Self-strangulation
Asthenolagnia - Weakness/being humiliated 
Audiophilia - Recorded sound
Autagonistophilia - Exposing naked body or genitals to strangers while on stage, while being photographed
Autoassassinophilia - Staging one’s own murder
Autonephioplia - Diapers

B

Belonephilia - Pins/needles/sharp objects
Biastophilia - Violently raping their victims

C

Choreophilia - Dancing to orgasmic release 
Chrematistophilia - Having to pay for sex or having a sex partner steal from them, being robbed
Chrysophilia - Gold or gold colored objects (see timophilia)
Claustrophilia - Being confined in a small space 
Coprolalia - Using obscene language or writing 
Coulrophilia - Clowns 
Crurophilia - Legs 
Crush fetishism - Seeing small creatures being crushed or being crushed

D

Dacryphilia - Seeing their partner cry 
Dendrophilia - Trees or fertility worship of them 
Doraphilia - Skin, animal fur, or leather (see hyphephilia)
Dracophilia - Dragons and serpents 
Dysmorphophilia - Deformed or physically impaired partners (see teratophilia)

E

Ecouteurism - Listening to others having sex without permission 
Electrophilia - Electricity 
Endytophilia - Partners who are clothed 
Erotographomania - Writing love poems or letters
Erotophonophilia - Lust murder
Exhibitionism - Showing genitals in public

F

Fetishism - An inanimate object
Fisting - pretty easy to figure out
Formicophilia - Sex play with ants 
Frotteurism - Rubbing one’s genitals against or fondling the body parts of a non-consenting person

G

Gerontophilia - Partner whose age is that of different generation 
Gynelophilous - Sight/touch of pubic hair (see acomoclitic, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, pubephilia, trichophilia) 
Gymnophilia - Nudity 
Gynemimetophilia - Male impersonating a female

H

Haematomania/Hematolagnia - Blood 
Hamartophilia - Committing acts you consider to be sinful
Haptephilia - Becoming extremely aroused by being touched
Harmatophilia - Sexual incompetence/mistakes
Harpaxophilia - Being robbed or burglarized (see chrematistophilia)
Hierophilia - Sacred objects 
Hirsutophilia - Armpit hair (see acomoclitic, gynelophilous, hyphephilia, pubephilia, trichophilia) 
Hodophilia - Traveling 
Homilophilia - Hearing or giving sermons 
Hybristophilia - People who have committed crimes, people who are cruel/outrageous 
Hygrophilia - Body fluids or moisture 
Hyphephilia - Touching skin, hair, leather, fur, or fabric/specific fabric (see acomoclitic, doraphilia,gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, pubephilia, trichophilia) 
Hypoxyphilia - Sexual arousal from the limiting or withholding of oxygen

K

Kainotophilia - Change
Kakorrhaphiphilia - Failure 
Keraunophilia - Thunder and/or lightning
Kinesophilia - Exercise 
Kleptophilia - Stealing 
Klismaphilia - Being given an enema 
Knismolagnia - Being tickled
Knissophilia - Incense
Kopophilia - Exhaustion

M

Macrogenitalism - Large genitals 
Macrophilia - Giants 
Masochism - Being dominated/humiliated
Mastigophilia - Punishment
Megalophilia - Large objects
Merinthophilia - Being bound
Metophilia - Another person’s face
Metrophilia - Poetry
Mysophilia - Filth/foul odors/decaying material

N

Narratophilia - Discussing sex with others 
Nasophilia - Noses/nose (see partialism)
Neophilia - Anything new
Normophilia - Acts considered normal by their religion/society 
Nyctophilia - Darkness or night

O

Ochlophilia - Being in a crowd 
Oculophilia - Eyes (see partialism)
Oculolinctus - Licking their partner’s eyeball
Odaxelagnia - Biting/being bitten 
Odontophilia - Tooth extractions/tooth fetish 
Ophidicism - Reptiles 
Ozolagnia - Powerful scents

P

Parthenophilia - Sex with virgins
Partialism - Specific parts of the body(see alvinolagnia, nasophilia, oculophilia, podophilia) 
Pecattiphilia - Sinning/guilt
Pediophilia - Dolls 
Phallophilia - Large penis/large penis fetish 
Phobophilia - Fear/hate 
Phygephilia - Being a fugitive 
Pictophilia - Inability to become aroused without pictorial pornography 
Plushophilia - Stuffed toys 
Podophilia - Feet (see partialism)
Polyiterophilia - Sex with a series of partners 
Psychrocism - Cold/ice 
Pubephilia - Pubic hair (see acomoclitic, gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, trichophilia) 
Pygmalionis - Rubbing one’s body against a statue/statue/manikins
Pygophilia - Contact with the buttocks 
Pyrolagnia - Watching fire
Pyrophilia - Fire or its uses in sex play

R

Retifism - Shoes (see altocalciphilia)
Rhabdophilia - Being flagellated 
Robotism - Robots in sex play

S

Sadism - Dominating/mistreating/humiliating one’s partner
Salirophilia - Ingesting human sweat or saliva (fluids with a salt content) 
Scatophilia - Obscene phone calls 
Scopophilia - Being stared at oneself 
Siderodromophilia - Trains 
Sitophilia - Using food 
Somnophilia - Fondling a stranger in their sleep 
Spectrophilia - An image in an mirrors/sex with spirits 
Stigmatophilia - Marking one’s own body/inserting foreign objects into it
Symphorophilia - Arranging a crash/disaster/explosion

T

Tantalolagnia - Teasing 
Taphephilia - Being buried alive 
Teratophilia - Deformed or monstrous people (see dysmorphophilia)
Thesauromania - Collecting women’s clothing 
Thlipsosis - Pinching 
Timophilia - Gold or wealth (see chrysophilia)
Transformation fetish - Depictions of transformations of people into objects/other beings 
Trichophilia - Hair (see acomoclitic, gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, pubephilia,) 
Triolism - Three-party sex 
Troilism - Couples
Tripsolagnophilia - Massage

U

Urtication - Stinging nettles stimulating the skin

V

Vaccinophilia - Being vaccinated
Vicarphilia - Hearing stories about other people’s lives 
Vincilagnia - Being tied up
Vorarephilia - Fantasies about being swallowed alive 
Voyeurism - Watching others have sex

X

Xenophilia - Strangers

Z

Zelophilia - Jealousy 
Zwischenstufe - Person of the same sex

Cool news, my computer is going to be shipped out here probably within a few weeks, so I’ll be immediately getting that fixed. Fuck this laptop. I’m sick of this shit.